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50 Ways To Kick A Habit | Turning Crap into Compost




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50 Ways To Kick A Habit

Whether you are able to attend our fabulous and weird funeral sing-along event this December 31, 2009, please feel free to sing our songs at the top of your lungs. May this reconfigured tune inspire you to make that change before the change makes you.

50 Ways to Kick a Habit

Sung to tune of 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

Stolen without the permission of Paul Simon

(Get the tune via karaoke or lyrics.com)

The problem is all inside your head

She said to me

The answer is easy if you

Take it logically

I’d like to help you in your struggle

To be free

There must be fifty ways

To kick a habit

She said bad habits are a pattern

That intrude

But there are some tricks to lose them

With a cheerful attitude

And I’ll repeat myself

At the risk of being crude

There must be fifty ways

To kick a habit

Fifty ways to kick a habit

Chorus:

Stop blaming your mom, Tom

Don’t need to hate dad, Tad

Just have to accept, Shep

And get yourself free


You don’t have to cheat, Pete

Just turn off the cell, Nell

Start telling the truth, Ruth

Just get yourself free


Stop looking for fault, Walt

Don’t pass the buck, Chuck

Stop living in fear, Dear

And you can be free

Refrain:

She said it grieves me so

To see you in such pain

But there is something you could do

That would make you smile again

I said I appreciate that

And would you please explain

About the fifty ways to kick a habit

She said just find a place

To dump out all your junk

Bad habits, grudges, grievances

That get you in a funk

And then she chanted them

Like a sly old Buddhist monk

Yes there’s fifty ways

To kick a habit

Fifty ways to kick a habit

Chorus:

Get to the gym, Kim

Toss out the smokes, Bloke

Start eating more kale, Dale

Just get yourself free


No more chasing skirt, Burt

Stop blaming the man, Dan

Quit blowing your stack, Mac

And get yourself free


Give up the old pain, Jane

Open your heart, Bart

Just learn to forgive, Liz

And you can be free

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